QotD: You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?

1. If she’s the HG Rep, when she shakes her head to knock out the babel fish and wipes the wet off with her towel.

2. If he’s the Lord of Arrakis, when he spits on the floor.

3. If she’s got pointy ears, the second time she does the split finger wave.

4. If he’s big and hairy, when he says, “hhhrrrrrnnnggghh.”

5. If she’s more machinery than flesh, when she tells me resistance is futile.

6. If he’s Captain Kirk, probably not until after breakfast the next morning.

7. If she’s Betazoid, I’ll just know.

8. If he’s Ferengi, the conversation won’t get started because I refuse to fondle his ears or appear naked.

9. If she’s a back-traveler, the finish will come first, so I’ll be looking for the start of the conversation as a cue to know we’re through.

10. Ifay ehay isay a ittlelay idkay, ehay illway aveway anday aysay osay onglay.