QOD: What will you say to God if you find Him/Her/??

I met God just before Thanksgiving almost ten years ago. Naturally, I’d chatted with Him before that, asked Him questions, and so forth. His answers only made me more eager to meet Him. A bit nervous on the arranged day, I changed my clothes a couple of times and spent so long in the bathroom fussing with my makeup that my teenagers were both banging on the door to get me out of there.

I opened the front door on the first knock. (It’s hard to play aloof with God.) I froze for a moment as new emotions and hungers surged. He smiled; I melted. Then we were off, walking down the street together, stopping in for Chinese at the little restaurant on the corner. He told me to feel free to ask Him anything.

Endlessly amusing, He often mentioned His colleagues (especially the One who said, “Oh ye of little faith.”) and chuckled at the frailty and foibles of “you humans.” Somehow, I don’t think He was laughing AT us, though you couldn’t say He was laughing WITH us. Perhaps He was simply laughing NEAR us.

After a couple of years of seeing God regularly, I knew I wanted Him in my life forever and ever. I finally confessed my desire and was delighted when He said I was His favorite human, so why not just get married? We made an appointment with a judge who scurried through the particulars (he had tickets to a Blazers game). Two secretaries we tagged as witnesses said they’d never seen such a happy couple before. Not that I explained it to them, but you’d have to figure marrying a God would put you in a good mood. Once you were used to Him, I mean.

It’s fun living with God. When I worry about money, He just says we’ll get some more. When something’s up with one of my kids, He just says, “Kids first. It’s a rule.” He’s a jealous God, He says, but insists that’s His problem, not mine. He knows what I’m thinking before I think it, which can be irritating at times, but makes Him dynamite in bed. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

I love my God. I’m keeping Him.