okay, how about this fish story?

Joe thought it was pretty funny sending Dad that singing trout for his birthday. Dad mounted it above the door, there on its beautiful plaque, and primed to turn its head and sing whenever anybody dropped by. Do you have any idea what it's like listening to a trout sing twenty times a day? I popped it once with a hammer when nobody was looking, but all it did was put out his eye. The damn thing kept on singing. The final straw was when Lenny dropped by at 3 a.m., as you know he does when he's had too big a nip at the keg. I stomped down the stairs in my bathrobe and slippers, cracked that plaque off the wall and had pretty much stomped it flat by the time Dad came shuffling down. The fish croaked one last sad farewell note (strangled, of course) and Lenny asked if we'd make chips to go with it.