QotD: You moved the pot before the coffee stopped brewing. Do you smell the mountains or the burro?

Hey Pedro, you see that gringo over there in Juan’s old place? Si, si, that Juan who go to Los Estados Unidos de America. They give him a flying burro in Neuva York, those crazy gringos. This new guy, he say he come to make a fortune. Make a fortune? I say to him. Somebody been giving you bad advice. No, he say. I get it from horse’s mouth. Caballo? Senor, you got nothing there but an old burro. Then I get a whiff of something. What you got cooking? I say.

So he goes into la casa and he bring out a pot and a cup. Try this, he say, and he pour this steaming something into the cup. I take a look, give it a sniff. You loco gringo, I say. What you got here in this cup? Try it, try it, he say. I get the beans for that just over there. Beans? I say. Little brown beans, he say. I make my fortune with little brown beans. I shove the cup back at him. You got nothing but mountain in here. You pick up little bits of mud and call it beans?

He look so sad I slap him on the shoulder. Come with me, senor. We got nothing here of fortunes or little brown beans lying around. Come with me, chew a few coca leaves, pick some caturra for a few pesos, you do all right. Caturra? he say. Sure, caturra. How you say? Cherries. Not cherries from a tree, but from a bush. You leave the green ones, pick the ones who look like cherries. It don’t pay so much, but it’s not so hard. A few pesos, you buy a little chicken for dinner. Also, you can flirt with Juanita, who runs the scales.

No, no, he say. He got another idea. So I go to pick caturra all day and when I come back with my little chicken, I smell a very bad smell coming from Juan’s old place. What you doing now, you crazy gringo? He bring me a cup and my eyes water. I find the little brown beans, he say, waving his hand. Over there.

Madre de Dios! You loco hijo de puta, I say. You got little brown beans from your burro, you donkey brains. You gonna drink what your burro spits out his behind? So I get away from there fast. Quien sabe what that crazy hombre will think to do next. You take my word, Pedro. This gringo way too dumb to wake up and smell the café.