QotD: When you've got water stuck in your ear, how do you get it out?

The Event Anticipation Radio (EAR) represents a giant stride forward in human guidance systems. Based on Einstein’s work concerning the space-time continuum, the EAR is capable of processing the user’s recent past, collecting information of other humans and objects in the near vicinity, and interpolating the likely events which will occur in the near future. Not only is the EAR’s prediction ability shown to be 98 percent correct, it also comes with a Nudging Optional Serial Events (NOSE) attachment, which can offer from two to eight alternate actions plans for users who find the near future displeasing.

We cannot stress strongly enough that the EAR will only operate correctly if it is kept clean and dry. The unit comes with a combination cleaning/repowering case, which should be used for a minimum of 30 minutes every 48 hours. In addition, please bring the unit into a service center for thorough cleaning every six months.

While allowing the EAR to get wet may negate your warranty, it is often possible to regain full function by releasing the moisture. Try the following:

First, locate the large single opening on the side of the unit (caution: do not mistake this single opening with the double opening on the front of the unit). Turning the unit so the opening points DOWN, gently tap the other side (now facing UP).

If this does not resolve the problem, turn the unit over so the single opening points UP, then add two drops of hydrogen peroxide. After two minutes, turn the unit over and repeat the gentle tapping described above.

If the unit is still malfunctioning, you may attempt one additional measure. Form a seal over the single opening with your lips, making certain the double opening on the front of the unit is NOT covered. Very, very gently, create suction. Please, do not use any vacuuming instrument. The powerful suction a machine creates will damage the delicate wires inside.

As you can see, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The company takes no responsibility for untoward events if water is introduced into the unit.

Thank you for your interest in EAR, with the new NOSE component. Have a nice day.